Pieternella Star, 58, Holland
I think in Holland there are very good conditions to age, because we have all the medical facilities, care, and know-how to live healthy. If you are aware of how to live healthfully and don’t get cancer you can live to be very old. The average age expectancy of Dutch women is almost 80; men are a little less. It is also genetic. I’m lucky, although it doesn’t guarantee anything, because in both my father and mother’s family they live to about ninety.
There are homes where you are taken when you are old, like my mother, when she was 87. She was in an old people’s home and they took perfect care of her. The homes are paid partly by the government and people contribute based on their incomes and properties. Since my mother had property, she had to pay for it all herself, but her neighbour who did not have property was in the same place absolutely for free. There are also private places such as apartments with protection for well-to-do people. When you are very old there are houses where you are looked after day and night.
I think that conditions for men and women are good. We are one of the ten wealthiest countries in the world.
Personal feelings: After I was in your workshop yesterday I spoke with some people who said, “I wish I could stay thirty all my life.” But you cannot. So I’m growing older and sometimes I think, “Oh, what will it be like when I am 80 and walking behind a walker?” Growing old just happens. You cannot prevent it. There’s a Dutch saying, “People like to grow old but they do not want to be old.”
Of course there mare many things in my life of which I am proud. But there are also things which I regret and will till I die, but I cannot change these things. Then maybe some things I would like to do over. But that is also unrealistic to think because I cannot do it over. But if I had had the knowledge when I was 18 that I have now then I would have made different decisions, but that is how life goes.
In aging there are some inconveniences. So far I don’t have many except that I cannot run anymore because of a bad knee and I hate that, but I accept it. I cycle a lot.
Secrets to aging well: Live in the present and look forward. It is stupid to look backward except to evaluate things and to give advice to others.
Accept your age, 50, 60, 70, and start from there because you cannot change it. Look at what belongs to that age and from which you can get your happiness. Like I now have this little granddaughter. It makes me so happy. I have one male colleague who is burned out, but when I ask him about his grandson, he bursts into a smile. You have to look to the things you can experience now and be happy with, and not wish that you were still 30.
My husband left me 12 years ago so I am alone. That was difficult with 3 children, 12, 13 and 14. I thought there was no future for me any more. But since then I’ve had a good future, but you partly make your future yourself. You have to acknowledge your restrictions, but you help your own future.
I am going to a place about 2 hours from Nairobi, Kenya. A friend has farms there and I will see if during my summer holidays I can go there to do voluntary work. I speak Swahili. I just keep on teaching and having my life.
Interviewed by Bonnie Fatio, founder of AgeEsteem,during the YWCA World Council in Nairobi, Kenya, July 2007
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Posted by Bonnie Fatio on September 4, 2007 8:19 PM | Permalink
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